Yep, this is me.
Not sure what I should and actually do feel and this issue has for a change nothing to do with physical feeling. It seems that not only my body is numb, but also my feelings.
I felt emptiness and sadness coming up over the past days as I am trying to get back to my old life but it’s just not possible at the moment and I am so scared it won’t change.
An hour outside at the Sunday Market was already too much for me, I fell asleep the moment I arrived home and am still exhausted.
What if it stays like this?
What happens to my career, friendships, fun times – LIFE in general?
I am so so angry, just want to throw my phone against the wall and destroy my place. Would love to run it off like I used to – but how if I can hardly make it down the stairs?!?! I don’t like this MS body I am stuck with and miss my energy, can hardly remember how it was when I felt normal 😦
I guess I am grieving and unfortunately I cannot run away this time…
Let’s hope tomorrow will be a better day – I keep on trying but maybe I should just allow myself some self pity and grieving time, close all curtains and hang out inside for a couple of days…