Summertime Sadness

sun is here

Winter Summer is coming! ( GoT insider, can’t wait for season 5!)

Spring has officially arrived and what can I say, I hate it. I used to be the first one sitting outside in the sun, sipping  a glass of chilled white wine. Booooo. Sunshine in spring and summer makes me feel really sad as it’s one of my worst enemies. On most days I need to plan according to the weather forecast and it all makes things only more complicated. I need to be even more organized in order to get everything done before noon on a warm and sunny day and get up very early if I want to go for a run.

I switch into my vampire mode and that’s exactly how I feel, like a Vampire Diaries character with a faulty daylight ring!

All of my curtains are closed on a sunny day as I need/ want it to be dark and, more importantly, I don’t want to see what’s going on outside as it makes me sad. I live across a lovely park and you can imagine how busy it gets on a nice day. Unfortunately I can’t block the sound and hear people laughing and having a good time which makes things worse.

That was me. 3 years ago, sitting in the sun with friends enjoying the warmth. Grieving again…

Now I’m a “shadow hunter”, I always walk on the shady side of the street and sit down at the least popular spots in outdoor areas. The past 6 months I felt as if I finally have control over the MonSter and today I feel like I lost it. I’m sad and angry as I know  I can’t do a lot in the next 5 months and be as active. If it’s going to be a real summer I most likely will also need to quit running and rowing. I feel robbed.

Sun and warm temperatures make me feel very uncomfortable in my body. I have a slight headache in my forehead since the first real spring day last week that just doesn’t stop and don’t even get me started talking about my body. Yikes. It feels as if my body is covered in spider webs and just wants to curl up into a ball and hide in a dark corner.

Damn, I need a daylight ring 🙂

Luckily it looks as if there won’t be a real summer again, they actually forecast a worse summer than last year which is great news for me but I know there will be haters, lol. Of course, I do have my cooling vest but hey, I really don’t want to wear it here in the city as it’ll make me feel even sicker. I got a little bit of ego left. There must be a way to master summertime and maybe even enjoy it a little, another self-experiment.

If not, I might need to spend my next summer in Tromsø or any other place close to the Arctic Circle. They should open a nice MS heat emigrant resort up there, I’d be the first guest 🙂

So, mentally preparing for a walk outside , it’s my mum’s last day in Amsterdam before she heads back home to Germany. Double boooo.

Have a nice Sunday and enjoy the sun if you can, x

One thought on “Summertime Sadness

  1. I’m totally the opposite. Winter is extremely difficult for me, and I live in Southern Europe, I can’t imagine what it would be like if I lived further up north. I hope you have a cool summer in Amsterdam 🙂

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