Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my MS diagnosis.
This might seem weird but up until recently, I couldn’t remember what happened that day. I guess I’ve been slightly traumatised by the day itself because of all the tests and the very, very surprising outcome.
June 25 2012, the day that changed my life forever. One sentence. Three words.
You have MS.
Countless blood tests, nerve conduction studies, EEG, CT, MRI and last but not least, the lovely (not) spinal tab, all done within 8 hours. German efficiency. That day I woke up still thinking I had a trapped nerve or hernia and by dinner time I was officially a MS patient. BOOM. At no point during the weeks leading up to the diagnosis I thought about that possibility once. Multiple Sclerosis, I heard about it but had no clue what it was, I always thought people with MS can’t walk and need to use a wheelchair, so how could I possibly have MS? I can tell you, there was lots of crying going on as I was so confused, scared and shocked. I cried myself to sleep every night that week and thought that’s it, my life is over.
I could barely use my right arm, had difficulties swallowing, no feeling left in my body, no reflexes and walked like a zombie because of the lumbar puncture.
I think it’s fair to say I had a really, really bad day 🙂
June 25 2012 was definitely not one of my best days ever BUT June 25 2015 was good. A normal day in my new life.
A lot has changed in the past year and I think I’m finally on the right path. I stopped feeling guilty about having MS and not be able to work anymore. It is what it is and accepting things makes life much easier. I found my peace with it and no longer see MS as my enemy, but part of me. I learned how to better control my symptoms but sometimes I still push myself too hard and fail. Luckily it happens less and less as I learned to listen to my body. I allow my body to rest whenever it needs to, sometimes even before lunch. I accept that I need to sleep every afternoon and am thankful that this is my biggest issue. Fatigue sucks, no question, but I could have worse symptoms. I noticed if I’m kind to my MS, it will be nice to me. My MRIs didn’t change in almost 2 years so my symptoms are pretty stable and I’m very thankful for it.
I want to thank my mum & dad, family, friends, my virtual MS family and my medical team for all the support and encouragement I received over the past 3 years.
Year 4 can start, I’m ready to make it the best one yet 🙂