I figured it was time for a spontaneous new self-experiment after my osteopath John told me about my emotional blockages he could feel in my kidney area (and so much more ) and wanted me to go home, watch Hatchi and try to have a good cry to let it all go. If you follow my blog on Facebook/Instagram you know I tried really, really hard but his comment made me start thinking so there was no soul cleansing crying AT ALL, Hatchi failed.
The pressure was on. All of this emotional trash needs to be taken care of asap.
If you cry easily – that’s great, I wish I could! I wear my badass armour for a very long time already and it even turned into a super badass one since I started this fight and healing journey. I feel blessed how far I’ve come in the past 3,5 years but I now know that I need to work on the emotional side to get to the next step, there’s no way around.
I’m **** scared. 2016 will be the year of destroying that badass shield and let it all go.
I couldn’t think of anything else last week and felt totally restless, John really pushed a button and got me thinking.
A few days later I noticed that event on my Facebook wall,a pranic healing session and found out it’s all about clearing these negative emotions in the first step to healing as they block your energy. I had no idea what it was but as my yoga school offers it too, it can’t be too weird.
So a few weeks ago I had my very first pranic healing session and even went for the twin hearts meditation before as I thought it can’t hurt to be a little more relaxed.
At first I thought I’m in the wrong room as there were only men, all with a calm and serene smile that made me, in comparison, feel like Emily Rose in the Exorcist.
Before a meditation of twin hearts you’re supposed to do some yoga or light exercises to get the energy flowing and that felt still very normal – until we sat down and started with the seven OMs. After the second om monkey mind came out and all I could hear was Zayne’s song Pillowtalk. At that point I was convinced I’ll start swearing and speak Latin any time soon as ( and that might sound really crazy to some) there was this odd kind of vibration deep inside getting stronger and stronger.
Then the weirdest thing happened and for the first time ever I was just there without my monkey mind for the rest of the meditation. What I loved about the twin hearts meditation is the fact that it’s both, guided and visual, not a lot of room for distraction if you’re a visual person. It felt great and I will definitely join that group again next time.
The pranic healing session was another great experience – my healer Vivek was perfectly prepared with a print out of the pranic healing MS protocol and explained me what’s going to happen in the next hour. I kept my eyes open at times to find out what he and the others were doing 😉 I had to sit on a chair and he walked around cleaning my energy. Yes, it looks like hooks pokus but that’s always the case with alternative healing. What it comes down to in my opinion is – did it make you feel better or not? If your answer is yes, great! Even if it might only be some kind of placebo effect, we already won if we tricked our mind in feeling better. He was 100% spot on with his initial “body scan” which was really a bit scary. Of course he confirmed what John told me plus the fact that I need to be less strict with myself, do more things for fun and finally make a choice for all the current options my life offers. Spot on as I really can’t decide! I’m a bit stuck. Once we finished he walked me out to tell me about something else he “found” – I need to forgive myself and others that hurt me.
Would I join another session? Totally! For the first time in months I felt calm and relaxed, at peace. I know which areas I need to improve and work on, once more I think the only thing that would really help me to let go of all these memories, emotions and traumas that left their mark is a trip to Peru for an ayahuasca retreat.
Who knows, it’s still in the top 5 on my bucket list and I finally found a great dog hotel for Ruby. Anyone wants to join me? 🙂