self-experiment #fail: Space Muffin

Don’t try this at home kids 😛

Millions of tourist visit this beautiful town every year with only one goal – the famous coffeeshops of Amsterdam. Seems like I’m one of the few people with almost zero experience when it comes to cannabis and a few weeks ago I decided to give it a go.

Sometimes I feel bad about it as I know for many of you marijuana is illegal while I just need to walk down my road for about 30 seconds to reach the next coffeeshop. Luckily more and more countries prescribe cannabis or medical marijuana and with MS you are one of the lucky qualifiers ( hey, there need to be some perks after all). In case you wonder and are not familiar with it, marijuana is really good for us living with MS, especially it’s compounds THC and CBD look very promising in studies. Don’t worry, I didn’t and won’t turn into a pothead and you actually see very few in the coffeeshops, the customers are of all ages, professions and backgrounds once you leave the center and its very famous coffeeshops where you’ll find most tourists.

A few weeks ago I decided to give it a try and got myself a pre-rolled joint at the coffeeshop down the street – many years ago I tried to roll one and it looked like a ball, not even close to joint. The moment we lit it, it burned down within seconds. So the pre-rolled option comes in very handy for not origami gifted people like me. I smoked it with a friend at my place and it was a fun eve involving lots of giggles and a 4 hour long painting session, I slept like a baby for the first time in ages.

After discussing with two very experienced friends ( you know who you are 😉 ) I decided to try and eat it rather than smoke as it must be healthier and more efficient for the healing compounds. You can dissolve cannabis in coconut oil, butter, cook with it, bake with it – you name it.  Said and done, I walked back to my local coffeeshop and got myself a little “special”muffin. I had a bite that same night and felt great, super relaxed, giggles, slept again like a baby. Had another bite the next eve and the same results.

Yay, maybe this is working for me.

BUT THEN, one day…

I got this big and beautiful muffin for my 4 year MS diagnosis anniversary.

space muffin

So pretty, isn’t it? The day I got it I visited my experienced friends and they introduced me to vaping, had some organic cannabis and these cuties even prepared a yummy dinner that contained a bit of marijuana. Thank you again for the great day you two 🙂

I didn’t feel high at any point, just relaxed and that is a feeling I honestly forgot. I’m always on the edge, even when I think I’m relaxed. So experiencing that feeling again was shocking and wonderful at the same time.

The next day I wanted to repeat my experience and decided to have a tiny bit of that pretty muffin. Just look at that size! I ate the dolphin first (of course) and maybe 1/10 of the muffin. I even went for a quick walk with my dog and did groceries afterwards. It all started on the way back, something wasn’t quite right, lol.

10 mins later, all hell broke loose, totally unexpected!  I have just sat down, finished dinner and watched THE (if you’re a fan you know which one)  very sad and dramatic episode of Orange Is the New Black ( I think this is the reason why it turned out the way it did) when my heart started racing and I felt kind of panic coming up. FEAR. I tried to ignore it at first but it got worse by the minute.

What do you do in these situations?

Well, I skyped my mum in Germany ( who is super cool btw and supports me with all my crazy ideas and self-experiments) . Unfortunately she has no experience herself and her google results were not very positive. I also started chatting with my dear friend who got me the muffin as I was sure she could help.

Her first advice – don’t eat anything. That was unfortunately already too late as I just had dinner. AFTER I had the muffin. Bummer.

Drink water and sit on your balcony was the second advise. Tried that, but things got still worse. I even thought about what would happen if I lose consciousness or if that was a heart attack of some kind, I’m all alone with my dog, nobody would find me for days – at least until Wednesday as this is the day my cleaning lady comes around. But it was only Monday night, help!  I even thought about calling an ambulance at one point or just sit outside my door for a while.

Then I freaked out a little more and even considered that I might need to get a boyfriend so I have someone around I could call 24/7 and who would prevent future stupid things I’ll do ( and before I get a ton of messages, I know I can call many of you 24/7 but you know me, I wouldn’t 😉 ) . HA! 😛 It was that bad! But I felt so lonely and totally helpless, I can’t even describe it. After an hour the panic and fear only came in waves, my mum had to leave me on Skype and I decided to join Ruby in her dog bed.


It took another 3 hours  until I felt more stable – but it took another 3-4 days until I felt like my old self again. I don’t even want to know what would have happened if I ate the ENTIRE muffin – it tasted yummy though, I never have chocolate muffins anymore so it would have been tempting. The next day I told several friends about this horrible experience and, it seems like I’m the last person living in Amsterdam to have had a space muffin ( why did I miss out on the space cake craze, where was I??) , they all made kind of the same experience at one point or another. It also always depends on your mood I learned and that day, thanks to the dramatic death on OITNB, my mood wasn’t great. I had no idea a space muffin could do that to you. So be warned if you ever come to town, better smoke/ vape a little 🙂

Well, it’s been almost 4 weeks since and I still can’t smell marijuana without feeling sick, so that self-experiement is on hold for a while. But not forever.

I mentioned earlier that I’d love to go to an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru – not anymore, EVER! I felt so much fear during these 3 hours after that tiny bite of space muffin that I would just die of fear in the jungle during an ayahuasca session. No, thanks!

I’m sorry that I freaked out some of you as I obviously must have snapchatted and instagramed the incident live – at least I could amuse some of you.

For the ones who missed out this very entertaining event – this is how I woke up that evening, poor Ruby. Poor me. The muffin went into the bin the next morning.

space muffin hundekorb



3 thoughts on “self-experiment #fail: Space Muffin

  1. Hello I have RRMS and am heading to Amsterdam in the next couple of weeks for a little holiday. I was all set to try a space cake but am a bit hesitant now (I had some BRILLIANT sensations when I was a student a gazillion years ago with hash cookies but that was pre-MS so I’ll have to see what happens this time. I don’t smoke so am hesitant about trying to smoke it but I am going with a vaper/Vapist (or whatever they call themselves) so might see how that goes instead. Wish me luck!

    1. Hi Jenni, no worries, I tested with other space muffins before and that always went well 🙂 It was just this very pretty one that did it to me. I’m currently involved in another self-experiment with vaping, got myself a nice magic flight vaporiser on Monday, lol. Please feel free to contact me if you need a Coffeeshop recommendation or wanna vape together 😉 Have a nice weekend! x

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