A lot has changed since my last post about the suboptimal MRI result and I figured it’s time to update you on here as well in case you don’t follow me on social media 🙂
It took a few weeks to fully recover “mentally” from the new lesion news but I eventually accepted it as there’s anyway nothing I can change or do so stressing about it doesn’t really help.
I went to Mexico in November for a week of solo adventure holiday in Tulum followed by Dr. Dispenza’s advanced workshop that honestly changed my entire outlook on living with multiple sclerosis. We meditated at least 4 hours a day – even one time 4 hours at once (hard work for this one as I can barely sit still for 10 mins) – and during one of the early morning walking meditations on the beach I finally had my breakthrough and cried my eyes out when I saw the beautiful, warming sunrise. Hard to describe but it was magical and I decided to leave MS back there on the beach and let go. Dr. Joe reminded us over and over of the principle that “energy flows where attention goes” and I noticed I blog a lot about my symptoms etc as I wanted healthy people to understand how it is and feels but hey – that also means I focus on these things and I’m done giving energy to my disease. I only want to focus on the healing part and put all of my energy into it.
My new mantra is “I am healed” ❤
It was definitely helpful writing about it for my first 4 years and it for sure helped me to accept and overcome but honestly, already the past months I didn’t know what to write about as there was nothing new except that I feel a little bit better, healthier and stronger each and every day. Of course, I do have days where I overdo it or the workout was to heavy but then I accept it and allow myself a good long siesta and rest. I learned to listen to my body, it’s that simple. I increased my CrossFit workouts to 3-4 a week and hardly suffer from fatigue anymore. It wasn’t easy to start with these kind of intense workouts but it’s so worth it, the benefit of what I get is greater than the pain or discomfort – and also that gets less and less as I push my own boundaries each time.
Now in year 4 in notice MS doesn’t rule my daily life anymore and very often I don’t even think about it and am only dealing with the normal, average things in the life of an ordinary 21 year old ( well ok, 37) woman again which feels great.
Pushing boundaries – that’s what I’ll do the next months BIG time and with a crazy goal but I’ll tell you in another post very very very soon, I promise 🙂
Off to new beginnings, stay tuned!