Happy diagnosiversary – lucky number 7

Seven has always been my lucky number ( plus 17 as I’m born on July 17 ūüėČ )  and this is exactly how I feel today, on my 7th MS diagnosis anniversary.

Lucky. Blessed. Grateful.

Then again…believe the diagnosis and NOT the prognosis ūüôā

My world as I knew it  collapsed when I heard “you have MS” on June 25 2012. That summer I had a very aggressive MS relapse and the number of active lesions in my brain/ spine went from 8 to “we didn’t bother counting them” within 6 short weeks. The prognosis didn’t look good, initial EDSS was 3.5, my entire body was numb, I couldn’t feel the difference between hot and cold water, my right arm and hand were so weak it was impossible to hold anything. But that was all nothing compared to the fatigue I experienced.

I’m so so grateful for my “health” each and every day. Not even in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that things would turn around from where I’ve been 7 years ago – to be able to experience all those moments in the past 12 ( 24) months.

As you’ve most likely noticed I don’t really blog anymore these days and only use my Stumbling Princess Instagram account but as this is another important milestone I felt it definitely deserves a good old blog post.

Let me quickly recap what happened in the past 12 months – I couldn’t stop smiling ( or let’s say laughing ) when I selected the following pics to document what I’ve been up to this past year as no one would have ever thought I could do these things again considering my initial diagnosis – or even enjoy doing them.

You gotta love life, you can’t make this stuff up, lol.

3 – 2 – 1 – Here we go, wohoo!

Juli 2018- September 2018

Thank you Courtney, trainers and fellow workout buddies at F45 Frederiksplein, F45 truly is “team training , life changing” and I love being part of this community. Can you imagine they dedicated their first anniversary to me and MS research? The F45 community collected donations for Mission Summit to support Project Y at Amsterdam UMC not only on the big day itself – but all week long! Thank you again to everyone who donated to this cause that is so close to my heart ‚̧

My first F45 Challenge! I lost 7.7kg ( see, 7 is my number) , 10% body fat, gained muscle, got super fit and a nice little six pack. I started to workout almost daily and noticed the more and harder I work out, the better I feel. If I live like an athlete in terms of training, nutrition and lifestyle I hardly have any MS symptoms.

I also (kick) boxed a lot during these months and took my first hot power yoga class, something I never tried as the typical MS health “recommendations” say heat and MS don’t mix well. Glad I went to this class as it was the beginning of a new adventure.

I even won the second place of the F45 Challenge and got 3 months membership for free – so went back for more and signed up for yet another 8 week challenge.

September 2018

Since 2012 September means one thing to me: MRI.

No matter how often I’ve been there, it’ll always be a bit nerve wracking as I usually have to wait a week for the results. That’s actually also the only time of the year I see my neurologist at the VUmc MS Center – he shares the results and usually can’t wait to hear what ( unusual) things I’ve been up to the past 12 months.

It was yet another stable MRI! My neurologist agreed to not use any contrast fluid ( very bad for you ) this year and even better – he told me if my upcoming MRI is clean again, I won’t need to come for yearly MRI’s anymore but only every other year! So fingers crossed for September 16 please, I’m busy manifesting yet another perfect MRI ūüôā

After the MRI/ waiting game we went straight to Italy for a week of hiking around the beautiful Lake Lugano and I must have been on every surrounding peak as I couldn’t get enough of the mountains and unspoilt views.

October – December 2018

I’ve finished my second F45 Challenge and officially arrived in the muscle/ fat “athlete” category! What an interesting experience to see your body transform in ways you thought weren’t possible, especially in such a short time and considering all those “labels” like MS and age. I get so much energy from my workouts that I never have to push myself to exercise – I always love to train and am so grateful that I can as I remember the times I couldn’t even cycle for more than 2 mins at the physio’s practice before my body started to strike.

Yoga became more and more part of my schedule which at first was very confusing to me as, until then, I never really enjoyed it and used to be quite bored…but then I tried hot power yoga and I had no choice but to surrender to the heat and yoga.

January- February 2019

Another long “healing through adventure” trip!

This time we traveled around Vietnam and Laos, tried to not get hit by scooters in Hanoi’s crazy traffic, did some ( foggy & muddy) trekking in Sapa, enjoyed incredible sunsets in Luang Prabang, cycled along  Trang An river in the picturesque Ninh Binh area.

My highlight was the 3 day Tiger Cave Adventure in Phong Nha-Ke Bang National Park, home to the largest caves in the world. Not only did I experience how dense a jungle really is and how hungry leeches are – we also hiked, climbed and swam through several caves. By doing so I also traumatised myself a little during one incident when I was all of a sudden fully aware that I’m in the middle of nowhere, deep inside the earth, the next road is a full day jungle hike away and I’m abseiling on a wet, slippery rock inside a cave so huge no torch light can make it all the way to the bottom. Yep, that was definitely my scariest moment in the past 12 months.

But for the rest I felt like my funny self during this trip ūüėČ

March – May 2019

I couldn’t help but giving in to the wish to deepen my own yoga practice so I signed up for a 200h Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training at Equal Yoga, the studio that made me fall in love with ( hot power) yoga.

I’m so grateful I got to learn so much about yoga, the philosophy, the asanas, ayurveda – but most of all for how that experience – and yoga magic – made me “feel”.

My YTT family – thank you for accepting me as I am, I really felt “equal” at Equal Yoga and not like the “oldest student with MS”. I’m so grateful for my teachers and new friendships with fellow students. Turns out I can open up and “feel” again as I was the one crying ( not out of sadness but joy and pure awe) during our very first meditation on day one and also “closed the circle” after our final savashana together as I made everyone cry.

All of this just happened a little over a month ago and I’m still in the phase of letting it all sink in but I’d love to follow further workshops and trainings in the next year(s), especially everything yoga therapy/ healing and breathwork related.

That was my yearly review in a nutshell. 7 years, wow.

As every single day in the past 12 months I woke up feeling very grateful for what I have and especially for the love and support I receive. Thank you to my “inner circle” aka my parents, Mr. X, Ruby, besties and close friends but also to all those beautiful, inspiring people I’ve met the past months.

I’m really excited what the future holds, bring on the next 12 months ūüôā

xoxo from Amsterdam, Anja

Happy & healthy 2018!

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Happy and Healthy(tier) New Year to you!

A little late as my MacBook decided to give me the “blue” screen and stopped working a few days ago so here’s a short 2017 review via my phone.

I celebrated New Year’s Eve in one of my favourite cities, Istanbul, trip #4 in December after a short visit to Athens and Vilnius to tell my MS story followed by a trip “home” to my mum in Germany. Busy times!

Now I finally got some quiet time to reflect on 2017, one of the most intense & best years of my life so far and I already have a plan in place to make 2018 even more spectacular and healing ūüėČ

I’m thankful for the experience I gained as team member of Mission Summit and our attempt to climb Mont Blanc as the first MS team. If you follow me on Social Media you already know that we had to return after a night at the Tete Rousse hut ( 3167m) because of severe weather. As I trained months for this event I was somewhat disappointed but also know all the hard training paid off. I’m definitely getting fitter the older I get ūüėČ I also had a small emotional breakdown climbing up to that last hut as I remembered where I’ve been on this very day 5 years ago – in neurological rehab, sleeping 18 hours a day and most likely doing water gymnastics with a right arm that didn’t cooperate – well, I could not even hold my cutlery and there I was, climbing the highest mountain in the Alps. CRAZY! I learned so much about my body during that time, especially that I can really push way harder than I thought.

Mission Summit is planning another expedition in November 2018 – this time to climb one of the “7 Summit”, Mount Kilimanjaro – and of course I’m thinking about joining, it’s great to have a goal to train for ¬†ūüėČ

The intense summer didn’t end there – shortly after I returned from the expedition it turned out that I have a bit of skin cancer ¬†( the “old people” kind, a basal cell carcinoma) on my collar bone. Bummer, but life goes on and it was luckily nothing dramatic.

My surgery was scheduled right after my yearly MRI that turned out to be fabulous – stable, no new lesions and last years “surprise lesion” was hardly to see so I think I’m on the right track with my DMD ¬†and my mix of meditation, breath work, sound journeys, exercise, diet, supplements and so on paid off.

The mini surgery was quick and easy, the only real downside was that I couldn’t ¬†do CrossFit or heavy weight lifting for a while. Stubborn as I am, I tried ¬†( of course ūüėČ) and ripped each time a few stitches so in the end it took about 6 weeks until the scar healed a bit.

For the first 3 months of 2018 I got already a full plan in place as I need to train and prepare for my next “project” that will be both, a healing and adventure trip to Peru ūüôĆ

Quick preview below and more to come in the next weeks but I can tell you already it’s going to be epic one way or another ( and for some a bit too extreme ūüėā ).

I’m always busy making memories and this trip combines a few things I really, really wanted to try and do for many years.

As they say, all we have is NOW…

x

5th MSanniversary

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Happy diagnosis anniversary to me ūüôā

Yes, a happy one as this is how I feel¬†on most days. ¬†Sometimes I wonder if I’ m a real weirdo as I usually wake up feeling super happy, lucky, but most of all, grateful.

It’s been 5 years and I can’t stop laughing as I type this! Gosh, I would have NEVER thought to be where I am now 5 years ago.

The past year has been the very best MS year so far, finally!

First of all – a quick health recap. Not much to report as I feel the best I have since my diagnosis despite that new lesion they found on the MRI in September and I blame that one on a very stressful time in my personal life. I don’t have any new symptoms and can’t ¬†say that I’m bothered by my existing symptoms – I also don’t focus on them. Energy flows where attention goes so I rather focus on other things ūüôā¬†However – I also learned when these symptoms are a warning sign that I overdid it again or – that my body simply has a suboptimal day and needs a break.

I also ¬†started to meditate on a daily ¬†(these days only “regular”) basis last year and went to two Dr. Joe Dispenza workshops, one here in Amsterdam and to the Advanced Workshop in Mexico where I met so many inspiring people.

Still sticking to a meat, dairy ( except every few months when I’m having a fancy dinner somewhere I’d go for a bit of cheese instead of dessert), soy and gluten free diet but reintroduced eggs and coconut oil which isn’t allowed on the “Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis Diet” so I guess I just follow my “own” diet and needs now and truly ¬†learned to listen to my body.

In addition to a healthy diet I still take my daily supplements ( Vitamin D, B12, zinc, fish oil, magnesium, non-acidic vitamin C, super greens powder, Sugarbearhair gums ) and also supplement my protein intake with vegan/gluten & soy free protein powder shakes, especially after working out.

I joined a Wim Hof workshop and finished it with an ice bath Р it felt so amazing I decided to stick to a cold shower regime and even made it to FreezLab for a whole body cry session in Р110C / -166 F a few times !

I must confess I still don’t do yoga on a regular basis but have been to Garth McLean‘s Iyengar workshop in November and will also join one next week as he’ll be in the Netherlands again. Can’t do everything ūüėČ

In March I went skiing for the first time in 5 years and even surprised my dad as everything went very well, I really love the cold, snow and winter as my body feels super normal in these temperatures and I hope to ski more often next winter.

Mountains – I also started indoor climbing to prepare for our Mission Summit expedition to Mont Blanc and even passed my top rope climbing exam.

The biggest change of all ¬†has happened in my working out routine as I started CrossFit in August 2016 and that was my game changer. I tell you, the first weeks were a fight as I had the worst fatigue after each workout resulting in ¬†3h siestas but now, 9 months later, I feel like I totally own it ( most of the times) and the progress I’ve made is incredible. Just to name one, when I first started I couldn’t really jump ( MS related, it felt like I’m pretty much glued to the floor the past years but hey, that’s also pretty much an invisible symptom as how often do you jump on a daily basis ) and started with a very low box about the height of a shoe box. Since April I jump the regular height for ladies which is 50 cm/ 20 inches. I ¬†go to CrossFit 3-4 times a week and it is one of the most important things to me. Not only do I love to challenge myself mentally/ physically but I also met so many super nice people there and made a bunch of new friends I also hang out with outside of the box.

The second BIG thing that happened in the past 12 months is the Mission Summit expedition that will start in exactly 4 weeks, flying out to Geneva on July 16th, wohooo! I will climb my very first mountain! Well, actually we’ll climb 2 mountains and both are above 4000m ( 13.100 ft), the Grand Paradiso in Italy and Mont Blanc in France. BOOM. Moving mountains for MS as the first team of MS patients to summit Mont Blanc ( we’re 4 with and 4 without MS) , if you would like to donate for the study “Project Y” at VUmc MS Research Center we’re fundraising for, please visit my page.

I’ll celebrate my 38th birthday in Chamonix on a glacier learning how to use the ice axe, crampons and navigate safely along the crevasses.

Thanks to all the training for the expedition I’m most likely in the fittest shape I’ve been in a long while and this is just the beginning.

5 years ago ( actually up to 3 years ago) I couldn’t do ANYTHING with my right arm and hand, slept 18h a day and considered moving back to the small village I come from in Germany, kind of giving up as I thought well, that’s it. ¬†I’m glad I didn’t as I would have missed this fantastic life and I’m loving every second of it.

Got to go, representing Mission Summit today at the largest MS event in the Netherlands, Arena MoveS. We even got a mobile climbing wall where everyone is welcome to have a go. Later in the afternoon I’ll climb a few hundred stairs along the football arena with my 12kg backpack. Unbelievable. I feel so lucky and blessed ‚̧

Just thinking about how strange it is that Arena MoveS is on June 25, ¬†my 5 year diagnosis anniversary and that the Mission Summit expedition starts on July 17, my birthday. Synchronicity at its best. I guess I’m right where I’m supposed to be at this point in my life. All is good.

Here’s to ¬†the next 5 years and new, bigger adventures. Already thinking about what to do after I return from Mont Blanc, need to find a new challenge to keep up my 6 days a week training routine ūüôā

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self-experiment: CrossFit

I kid you not!

CrossFit and MS seem like a horrible match and some people still think I’ve completely lost it but let me tell you, the past 4 weeks were great. Lots of sweat and tears but I’m ¬†convinced this is my way forward and¬†I just signed up for a 3 months UNLIMITED WOD membership as I want to continue this experiment and dig really, really deep.

Yes, I have officially joined the CrossFit cult ūüôā

CrossFit can be quite intimidating at first. I have friends doing CrossFit for years and yes, talking about it non-stop ( this is me now, lol) but I never gave it a real chance as I thought, hm, I have MS and CrossFitters seem like the complete opposite, they are like superhumans. Watching the CrossFit Games online or just recently the Netflix ¬†“Fittest on Earth” documentary didn’t really help.

But then a friend shared this video of “adaptive” CrossFit athletes and I thought, hell yeah, I can do this, too!

 

Luckily I found a great box ( CrossFit term for the place you workout, in my case an old warehouse) here in Amsterdam that offers an 8 hour “on ramp course” where you’ll learn most of the movements from weightlifting to rope climbing. I think it’s essential and in my box even mandatory to follow such a course as CrossFit can cause many¬†injuries if you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m glad I did quite a bit of weightlifting and kettlebell training the past 12 months as I’m familiar with the technique.

Then – the biggest surprise during our first lesson! We learned that the MOST¬†important part¬†of CrossFit is – REST. HA! Sounds like the perfect sport to¬†me as I’m a world-class rester ūüôā

After completing the course we got 3 weeks of unlimited testing which I did – to the max!

First of all – SURPRISE, there are mainly¬†“normal” people training, all fitness levels,sizes and ages. The average Joe and Jane and¬†we all share one goal – to get and be fit for life, both physically and mentally. It’s the mix between strength training, cardio and gymnastics that makes it very appealing to most people. At the same time it’s also a great mental strengths training as you’ll get pushed to your own limits and are constantly trying to overcome them. It really is for everyBODY as you can scale every single exercise during a workout in many different ways and make it work for you. For example, I can’t do pull ups ( yet ūüėČ ) so I do jumping pull ups instead and am also using less weights etc.

I was really concerned about the, ok, MY competitive side but notice each time I only compete against myself and don’t compare myself to others. To me ¬†it’s more about overcoming my own limitations that I still set myself mentally.¬†“I have MS, I can’t sprint, can’t do this, can’t do that”. But turns out¬† – I CAN. Up¬†until¬†now I actually didn’t notice any difference between me and other beginners.¬†I feel more self-confident and surprise myself in almost every workout with what I can do as I’m still limiting myself mentally¬†with the fact that I have MS.

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What?!?! You want me to lift this 42kg atlas stone to my shoulder? ¬†I can’t try because I have MS!¬† Overcame my fear and tried!

CrossFit has several neurological benefits, especially olympic weightlifting. I can feel my CNS working really hard each time and trying to get these 4-5 movements together looks very easy but it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. How I can tell? I had to take a three-hour siesta after the first olympic weightlifting session and my mind felt like a blank space, it kind of shut down to process this new information ūüėČ This is exactly what I want as I know my brain builds new connections. Neuroplasticity is so important, not only for people living with MS or¬†other neurological disorders but for everyone. You can only rewire your brain if you give it new input, make new experiences or learn a new skill. With CrossFit, you get it all without traveling places.

I noticed quite a few changes the past 4 weeks and it’s not only that I feel hungry all the time, lol. Even on a bad day (doing physically well but kind of in a weird funky mood for weeks as I’m getting more aware of cognitive issues like my 1 second attention span and that’s just so frustrating. Sorry for the distraction from the main post but this is pretty much how my brain works for me, it’s all over the place at the same time and it’s just overwhelming at times, so I take time outs and hide) ¬†I try to make it to a WOD at least every other day¬†as I feel so much better¬†afterwards, have more energy and less fatigue as I’m adjusting to these new movements and activities.

I finally started to push my limits little by little and lift heavier each week as, well, ¬†it needs to hurt a little. No pain, no gain. ¬†In the past I stuck¬†to my workout¬†plan and didn’t dare to leave the edge of my¬†comfort zone but as we all know, the magic happens only outside our comfort zone. Thanks to the great community there’s a lot of magic happening as you always have people cheer for you if you’re about to give up and we all celebrate our own successes at the end of the workout with a round of high fives ūüôā It’s a very social sport as you get to meet many new people and that’s¬†so¬†important to me. It’s not like in the gym where most people wear earphones¬†and focus¬†on their own workout. You do quite a few of buddy or team exercises and even if it’s a workout without, your neighbors will support and cheer for you if they¬†notice you struggle.

The only tiny issue is my core temperature – but I also found a solution for that ūüôā

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I got myself even more ( 8 xxl) ¬†cooling packs , now¬†half of my freezer is occupied with other things than ice cubes and veggies ūüėČ . When I feel my temperature rise,¬†I just put¬†one cooling pack¬†in my¬†back/ neck area, held in place by¬†my racerback sports bra, and add more to my shoulders and chest if needed. I also drink ice-cold water and it really works! Thanks to this trick I have hardly any ¬†symptoms anymore when working out, just the vision in my left eye is a bit off but I must say it’s been like that for weeks, even without working out. I blame it on the late summer here in the Netherlands as we’ll also hit 26 degrees today which is a no-no for my workout. For the rest – even my right leg feels “normal” for the first time all summer!

So, that’s it for today, I might even start an entire “CrossFit with MS” sub-menu on my blog but we shall see. Here it is again, distraction and my brain is already somewhere else ūüėČ

Thank you for this great experience  coaches and buddies, looking forward to the next 3 months with you!

 

Dr. Joe Dispenza – Progressive Workshop

6 weeks ago I attended¬†¬†Dr. Joe’s lecture on his book “Breaking¬†the Habit of Being Yourself”. I had no idea who he was or what it’s all about but as you know, I’m open to all kind of alternative healing methods¬†so I gave it a go. Can’t hurt, can it? WOW. I was so impressed that I signed up for his progressive workshop here in Amsterdam, right there, on my iPhone, while listening to him. That evening changed a lot as I was introduced to the topics of ¬†neuroplasticity and epigenetics.

Too make a long story short, 95% of our disease are caused by stress. Stress raised the cortisol level and the immune system goes down. Our genes get downgraded (luckily we can also upgrade them ourselves, just finished Deepak Chopra’s book Super Genes which is also fascinating!) . Tata, her comes the disease. Unfortunately most of us live by stress, we’re even addicted to it. Ever since I can remember, I needed that kick to finish¬†something last minute, otherwise I wouldn’t do a thing at all.

This statement made me think about the power of our mind

¬†“If your thoughts can make you sick, then¬†can your thoughts make you well?”

Dr. Joe Dispenza

How come some people heal themselves from disease? Shrink their tumors? Be in remission forever? Completely heal themselves after terrible accidents like Dr. Joe did?

I know it clicked in my head about 1,5 years ago, I decided to take action and today I’m in a much better place and even improved. Our bodies are actually build to repair themselves, we just need to give them a chance and support them in the best way possible by reducing stress and environmental factors that influence the process in a negative way.

If this statement wouldn’t be true, then how is it possible that people on a placebo start feeling better or even get cured? ¬†Positive thinking alone isn’t enough, you need to have a clear intention and attach an (elevated) emotion to it, live as it has already happened to you. Create a new personal reality. Every day. We’ve all done it at some point, I bet you once had a great, fabulous experience but at the same time you kind of knew that it would happen way ¬†before it did, right? You pictured that outcome.

Last weekend, July 1-3 2016, I attended his progressive workshop which mainly focused on the different meditation techniques used. It was interesting to see that really all kind of people attended the workshop which took place in a beautiful old church that is also used for events nowadays Рand only 900m from my house which was a bonus!

I already did an 8 hour online class and read his books “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” and ¬†“You are the Placebo” – I can definitely recommend these as he also explains the science behind it in an easy way. I wish I would have had a math or physics teacher like him, I bet I would have made a great scientist! Dr. Joe is also a scientist who loves to measure things, so in the advanced workshops attendees get brain scans, heart rate monitors, EEGs¬†and all kind of tests to prove the positive effect of the meditations. He shared quite a few tests results with us and especially the EEGs¬†amazed me, I’ve never seen anything like it as some attendees reached a brain wave activity that looked, after minutes of total crazy activity, like they flatlined – however, the actual results were too high¬†for the EEG¬†machine to measure!¬†¬†I spare you the details as it sounds very crazy if you’ve never heard of it but I met some of these people who cured themselves from all kind of disease, some even after only ¬†3-4 meditations – and I listened to quite a few conversations in the line for the bathroom¬†ūüėČ

I always thought I can’t meditate (see what my thoughts do here?!?! EVERYONE can meditate!) , I tried several times last week and checked out around 15 min into the meditation. Boo. The monkey mind. The first meditation during this workshop lasted¬†45 min and I completely lost track of time, my body and my environment – exactly what you’re supposed to do to truly live in the now and work on your future.

We’re all stuck in the past – is it because someone hurt us, a trauma, anger, frustration, you name it. All of these experienced emotions are hard-wired in our brain, that’s why we need to create a new mind and recondition our body. Also our habits are holding us back, doing the same things over and over again, that’s why it’s so important to shake things up ¬†a little and create¬†new experiences which means new brain connections. If you’re stuck in the past, you can’t be in the now. So there’s lots of work and forgiveness required which we worked on during the meditations on day 1.

Day 1 was great but what happened on day 2 really blew my mind, I can’t even describe in words how it felt but I’ll try… a bit like I was pulled¬†out of my body and there was nothing left around me except warm and not scary infinite darkness, surrounded by pure bliss and joy. I had no idea these things and experiences can already happen after only a few meditations and using¬†different kind of techniques.

I cried the first happy tears in years, probably even the most joyful tears ever in my life. I cannot even describe what happened but know I want to reproduce this feeling¬†asap. I felt this energy coming up, getting stronger, stronger and BOOM. Crazy and so beautiful. During the first practice I had to giggle and laugh out loud ( you could hear it in the entire place ūüėČ ) as this is what I do when I’m nervous, but when things got serious and we started the meditation it was even more intense and I gave in for the entire 45 min meditation.

I surrendered.

I’d love to see what I did with my head during each meditation¬†as I know it tilted back and to the sides,¬†it¬†feels like I got a “meditation whiplash”, my neck still hurts a little ūüôā

Well, I still got this bliss feeling and I guess most of us attendees left as a changed person, more clear about our intentions and what is holding us (in the) back, what we need to resolve to reach the future we want to create.

We did the same kind of technique again in the afternoon of day 2 but I got so dizzy and I believe scared as my heart beat went crazy ¬†that I had to stop and calm down for a bit while everyone around me was sobbing. I think we meditated that day ¬†about 4 hours so it’s completely fine that I didn’t reach that intensity level in the¬†afternoon again, considered I’m a total newbie. I will go on and practice, practice, practice. Not only do I¬†understand the mind-body connection better now, I actually felt it. I can’t wait for tonight’s¬†meditation and will create my own little meditation space after I finish writing this post.

All I feel right now is gratitude and even more love for life (is this even possible?! ūüėČ ) , thank you for this eye and soul opening experience Dr. Joe and team and a heartfelt special thanks to you Wim, my last row gang meditation buddy, thanks for your support, I hope to see you soon interdimensional genius!

 

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